We, men, fearlessly take to rugby fields, use circular saws without training, and willingly neglect the application of sunscreen while spending entire days at the beach. We are invincible and laugh in the face of danger. But when it comes to our testicles? We are united by our single-minded mission to protect at all costs. Unless, that is, you’re Johnny Knoxville.
Pain is a part of life, and most often we don’t really fear it too much. But when it comes to having a vasectomy, the main thing on almost everyone’s mind is, how much is this gonna hurt!? In fact, when you look at the primary reason people avoid the Snip, it’s fear of having a needle anywhere near the family jewels.
So, let’s talk about this for a moment. How much is your Snip actually gonna hurt?
First, we should all raise a celebratory glass in honour of the advancements that have occurred in the last 20 odd years when it comes to vasectomy. Gone are the scalpels, large scrotal incisions are no more, and stitches have become unnecessary. Their welcome replacement is the hyfrecator (which is like an electric laser), and a procedure done through a tiny keyhole. Cheers to the modern world and the no-scalpel vasectomy.
Having said that, a keyhole still must be made in your skin. And all those tubes beneath, still must be disconnected. Yeah, it’s “small” and “minor”, but us Snip doctors understand how physically and psychologically sensitive it really is.
To make sure the hyfrecator causes no pain, first we numb a small patch of your skin on the front of your scrotum, as well as the tubes lying beneath (the vas deferens). This is done using local anaesthetic by injection. Before you panic, faint, or start investing in durex stocks, the injection is given using an insulin needle. For those not in the know, an insulin needle is small; we’re talking like maybe the size of your pinkie fingernail and almost invisible at 4mm long. These needles are given to children with diabetes so they can learn to inject themselves. They are entirely underwhelming to look at but can deliver all the good numbing stuff needed for a pain free vasectomy.
You may have heard about some places offering needleless ways of delivering the anaesthetic. While we get this might sound cool due to the absence of a needle, for this to work they must push the anaesthetic into your skin with high-pressure, which is actually more painful than our tiny baby needles. This is why we opt for the method we use.
Once you’re numb by this quick injection, there should be no painful sensation for the rest of the arduously long 10-minute vasectomy. Ultimately, you should expect to be in relative comfort through the whole experience.
Relative comfort you say, as you narrow your eyes suspiciously. I knew you were no fool.
The piece of information that often gets overlooked or neglected is that your comfort will be relative to what you are experiencing. Which in this case is a doctor holding your balls, lasering a tiny hole into your scrotum, and sniping your sperm shooters. I emphasise, you should not feel any pain, but anaesthetic does not take away the feeling of pressure and it will not make you unaware that someone is doing stuff to your gonads.
The effect of the anaesthetic usually wears off within 30-60 minutes, so you will likely be home, or on your way home by time this happens. At this point you will start to feel the effect of the laser on the tubes, which generally feels like an ache. This can be remedied by taking some ibuprofen, binging some Netflix, and resting an icepack or cold beverage between your legs (with another celebratory one in your hand obviously).
The importance of taking it easy for the week after your vasectomy cannot be stressed enough. Resting helps avoid bruising and inflammation around the area. So, if you behave yourself, you should find getting the Snip was easier than that last tattoo. Some discomfort should probably be expected, but pain? Yeah nah.
